Confessions of the Divine Miss K

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

Counting Down From 10

Today makes me 30 weeks pregnant. It means I have 10 more weeks to go. It also means that I'm 75% done gestating this little boy. Craziness.
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30 weeks! In some ways it's gone by immensely fast, in other ways it's crawled by (no literally, CRAWWWWWWLED). Nevertheless I am relieved to almost be done, mostly because I want to meet LB and start this new chapter of my life, but also, let's be honest, I really really really miss sleeping on my stomach. And drinking alcohol. And having guilt-free hot tubs. Oh, and seeing my toes.
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Have I enjoyed pregnancy? I don't know. It's totally not what I expected. I thought I would love being pregnant, that I would revel in it, that it would somehow be fun. Silly, I know. But I had fantasies of being all cute with this little basketball out front and people offering me seats on buses and carrying my groceries out to the car. It's not really like that.
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First of all, I wasn't prepared for just how physically shitty it feels and my God, I've had it easy compared to some. But my back is now throbbing consistently and it's hard to ever feel that comfortable. Nothing can prepare you for the feeling of literally having your ribs pushed up into your diagphram. Plus, it's disconcerting to find yourself struggling with things that used to be easy, such as getting in and out of a vehicle! I now officially waddle when I go for a walk and am constantly out of breath.
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Plus, I thought I would have cute food cravings. I've had none. Zero. Except for chocolate but what's so new about that. I also thought that I would eat like a pig guilt-free. I definitely eat more now but I'm constantly plagued by guilt that I'm not eating "healthy" enough - not enough spinach (iron) or milk (calcium) or vitamins from other fruits and veggies. And I still feel guilty when I pork my way through Adders' extra-large fry that he ordered but doesn't eat. So just because you're pregnant doesn't mean your head changes. I also find that I'll try and deprive myself of something to eat, like I was wont to do before. However, then I'll feel guilty that I should be eating something because maybe the baby is hungry! And so I will go get an apple but really what I wanted was a freaking apple pie!
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As for sex, good God. There are a bunch of mixed reviews out there on sex during pregnancy. Some women LOVE it because of increased blood flow (resulting in more intense orgasms) and lubrication. These are probably the same women who claim that their husbands are more attracted to their feminine pregnant figure. I think these women are all outright liars!
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I mean, I've always had what I would consider a fairly normal libido. I enjoyed sex and orgasms came easily to me. However, since becoming pregnant I have NO libido. None whatsoever. And because of my enormous stomach I find the positions left available to us are awkward and unsatisfactory. So basically sex sucks. As for Adders, well, I don't think he finds me hideous but I have no preconception that he thinks this belly with its own weather system and orbiting moon is in any way a "turn-on."
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As for the nesting instinct, it is certainly something I could do without. I have always had OCD tendencies and don't need any help in finding the motivation to clean my house or organize closets or decorate the nursery. And yet "help" has certainly arrived in the form of powerful, intoxicating hormones that encourage me to convince my husband to sand every piece of furniture down in the house and restain it. These same hormones also remind me that if we don't choose a stroller now, we all might die. This also goes for closet organizers and crib mattresses. Adders welcomes your sympathy.
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So yeah. When you break it down like this, it's easy to see why I am so thrilled to be at week 30 and have this over with as quick as possible.
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But I shouldn't deny that there are some fun parts to being pregnant. First of all, it's a great conversation piece. And people (particularly women) do love discussing pregnany and child-birth. So instead of having to rely solely on the weather for small-talk, at least there's another topic to resort to.
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Plus, I do think people are somewhat more sensitive. I was out in Vancouver last week for work and had to ride the Sky-Train several times. Every time I was eventually offered a seat on the packed trains. It didn't necessarily happen right when I boarded but at last someone would take notice and offer me a place to rest my feet. And hells yeah, did I take advantage of that.
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Of course, the most amazing thing about being pregnant is the baby itself. I've heard some women describe that they like it because they never feel like they're alone. I wouldn't go that far and say that. But I would say that there is nothing more awesome than feeling and seeing him kick and swirl around. I mean, yes, some of those kicks do hurt! But they're still enjoyable because oh my god look at my baby go! It never gets old to suddenly see an elbow stick out of your stomach.
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All in all, I am hoping these next 10 weeks go by fast and without a hitch. I hope that LB continues to thrive and grow and gets those little lungs ready for his big arrival. Because oh boy, are we ever looking forward to meeting him. That, and Miss Courty really truly wants her body back (oh the deliciousness of sleeping on your stomach)!

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