Confessions of the Divine Miss K

Friday, December 18, 2009

And speaking of puppy dog tails...

So I'm not sure what to expect out of this whole motherhood thing. I mean, we all know that the difference between how we tend to picture things (fantasy of unicorns and whimsy and everything covered in chocolate) versus the reality (kill me now) are usually two very separate things. Yet as far as I can tell, motherhood seems to be one of those things that certainly lives up to its expectations. So however amazing I think it might be, it certainly will be. Although I'm sure however horrible and terrifying and confusing I think it might be as well, it will likely be that too.
.
What I'm trying to get at is that while I'm anticipating becoming a mom, I'm also really nervous. Like I'm looking forward to the cuddles and the little baby smiles. But it's so hard to imagine this little person, this little boy. I can't see him in my head. That could be because I'm too busy imagining all of the horrors of parenthood (lack of sleep, projectile vomiting and pooping, baby screaming at top of his lungs in Safeway, ohmygod FLYING WITH SAID BABY) (sidenote: I don't think anything terrifies me more than flying with a baby. I am PETRIFIED of it. And yet, I know I'll want to go to Mexico at some point. How do people do this? And how do I ensure that not everyone on the plane loathes me?).
.
Anyhow, the only thing I have to compare motherhood to is, well, parenting my dog Lucy. Now Adders will tell you that I pretty much love Lucy most in this world. And, well, Adders wouldn't be too off the mark. I joke. Kind of. I love that dog. No really, let me emphasize that - I luuuuuuuurrve that dog. I repeatedly thank God for her. I fret over her. Because my new job means that I can't take her with me to work, I suffer from immense guilt that she's sitting at home by herself all the live long day (yes, I know her daddy is home with her for an hour for lunch each day. But he doesn't love her and take care of her the way that I do!). Even when it's minus 20 out, I will take her for a walk, though it may be the last thing on Earth I want to do, just because it makes her so very happy.
.
Literally, I adore this dog. Her sweet nature, her puppy kisses, her obsession with certain toys (currently it's her yellow lemon squeaky toy, before that it was her orange frisbee) and complete disregard for other ones. I love the way she comes to greet me, with her tail wagging her entire body in excitement. I love when she looks at me with those big brown eyes, so hopeful that maybe just maybe I'll take her for a walk. I love how when I let her sleep with us, she nestles in right beside me, as if all she wants in this world is a good cuddle. I love how if you give her a piece of carrot, she won't eat it right then and there like she does every other treat. Oh no - a carrot requires concentration and deliberation and thus must first be carried over to the carpet where she can lay down in front of the fireplace and chew to her heart's content.
.
I love her determination, how she'll always swim after her frisbee, even if the threat of drowning is imminent. I even love the way she perches herself on top of our couch, keeping vigil over 14th Avenue, protecting us from the dangers of other dogs and the mailman.
.
There are things about her that drive me crazy. She can be overly-sensitive which makes me feel guilty (anytime Adders and I are fighting, she will go hide somewhere) (and when we are fighting, if you pick her up, she'll be shaking. Poor thing). She gets super depressed if you don't take her for a walk and will either pout all night on the couch, or follow you around until you're forced to clip on that supid leash. She can be picky about her dinner and is extremely clingy with me when she's around strangers. She hates visiting other people's houses and goes ballistic if there is another dog nearby when we're on a walk.
.
But for the most part, I honestly think she's the world's greatest dog. I can't imagine my life without her and I can't believe how much she's enriched the life I do have. And if that's what a dog can do, I can only imagine how this Lil' Bastard is going to blow me away.
.
Hmmm, so this is why the always say you should get a dog first before becoming a parent.

0 Comments:

Post a Comment

<< Home