Frogs and snails and puppy dogs' tails...

That's what little boys are made of.

A boy. I'm having a son. The joy of it is enormous. So is the pressure. I mean, I'm now responsible for raising this individual who I hope will be both masculine and sensitive, tough but tender. That's such a rare thing to find in a man but dammit I'm going to try, for his sake, my sake, his (future) sisters' sakes and his wife's sake.

In the past, whenever I imagined pregnancy, it was always me pregnant with a baby girl. When I pictured myself decorating a nursery, breast-feeding a newborn, proudly showing off my child, I always, always fantasized about a girl. Even at the beginning of this pregnancy, I wanted a girl. I mean, having a daughter is pretty much my life's biggest hope and dream.

And yet, somehow over the past few months, all I've prayed to God during my morning prayer is "Let it be a boy." Don't get me wrong - I would be just as ecstatic if this teeny tiny human dancing around my uterus was a female. But for anyone who thinks I'm disappointed I'm getting a boy, they couldn't be more wrong.

For one, it makes me so happy that Adders is thrilled he's having a son. There is something strange and primal about it but men seem to think that having a boy = strong virility, as if their own manhood is reaffirmed by the existence of an heir. I don't know. But I do think that now he'll be more engaged, more excited, more involved with this pregnancy and birth than he might have been otherwise (which sounds horrible but is likely true).

Plus, I had two older brothers growing up and it was great. Yes, they tease and can be bullies and bossy and leave you out. But they're also protectors and they take you on the best adventures. Oh, and they make you laugh and laugh and laugh. Having an older brother is something I'm so thrilled I get to provide for my other future children.

As for him, this wee little boy who is madly dancing around inside me, who's little arms waved at me this morning on the ultrasound, I cannot wait to meet him. I can't wait to cuddle him and breastfeed him, to show him trucks and machines and watch him go for his first quad ride with his daddy. I can't wait to see him laugh and help him explore all around the backyard. I can't wait to take him skiing and force him to practice piano. And I can't wait to help him become the best man he can be, the best version of himself.

For him I hope these things:
His maternal grandpa's work ethic; his maternal grandma's passion for God; his paternal grandpa's infectious smile; his paternal grandma's graciousness; his aunt and uncle's thick, dark and wavy hair along with their trademark dimples; his oldest uncle's imagination that made my childhood so magical; his other uncle's sense of humour and keen individualism; his dad's easy-going and agreeable personality; and his mom's drive and belief that one should always do the right thing.

I hope he gets the best of all of us. But I know that no matter what, he's going to be perfect.

Now we just have to find the perfect name for our little tadpole. And to think we already had a girl's name all picked out!