Confessions of the Divine Miss K

Wednesday, June 28, 2006

The More You Know

So we can add another disorder/ailment to my mix of many. I think I'm obsessive-compulsive. I don't know this for sure but (a) look at my family history - I've got me some fucked up genes; and (b) I've heard that those who suffer from OCD have this love/compulsion to fill in every list or form that comes their way. That is so me! I mean, I even enjoy filling out my medical chart whenever I drop in at a different walk-in clinic (which is more frequent than any of you realize!). Seriously, the only survey or form I don't like filling in is a job application but that's only because I've filled out fifty frillion in the past 6 months.

The point is, I love filling memes out so here's another one (hope you're not bored to tears).

100% pure Canadiana. Seriously, I think I have a fairly normal western Canadian accent, although I’ve been told more times than I care to remember that I say the word “iron” oddly. Also, “leg” but c’mon, it’s just funnier the way I say it.

Booze of Choice:
Diet Coke, Diet Coke, Diet Coke. Oh, wait. Booze? Err. Well, how about getting me some Diet Coke WITH alcohol? Actually, that’s not true. My favourite alcoholic beverage is a Green Apple cooler followed by about ten more.

Chore I Hate:
Dusting. Ugh, ugh and more ugh.

Dog or Cat:
Neither. Sigh. [plaintive look at Adders that clearly says, “Please? Pretty please?”]. Another sigh.

Essential Electronics:
Although I love me my Mac laptop named Candy Apple and my Canon Powershot digital camera, this question beguiles me. How about essential lipsticks instead? Because that is a question I know the answer to…

Favorite perfume(s)/cologne(s):
I think my favourite one was “Her.”

Gold or silver:
Silver. Or diamonds. You know how it is.

Technically, Calgary, Alberta. Emotionally, Cranbrook, British Columbia. Wishfully, New York, New York.

For what feels like centuries now, I have been a poor sleeper. Once I’m asleep I can usually remain so (unless Adders is in the bed with me and then I’ll wake up fifty frillion times). But actually FALLING asleep is a nightmare.

Job Title(s):
Official Representative of The Universe Hates Me Company.

Zero, thank the merciful heavens.

Living Arrangements:
Well, that’s all about to change. Right now I’m still roomies with roommate extraordinaire Miss Tamara Lee. However, I’m about to go at it alone (in 1, count ‘em, ONE day!) (although there will likely be a certain guest that will be at my house frequently. But this guest should always remember that he is just that, a guest, which means that he should clean up after himself and not spray down the bathroom with water when he’s wetting down his hair nor throw his shirts in the drawer in a crumpled heap).

Most Admired Trait:
I'm very good at keeping calm. My name means “Peaceful” and it couldn’t be more dead-on. [pause]. HA HA HA. Uhhhh, seriously? Admired trait? Ahhhhh, well, ummmm. I’ve never been in a car accident? Whew, uhhh, I’m good at scrubbing toilets? Gee, ahhh, I’m good at making fun of you? THAT’S IT. There it is. I am fucking good at making fun of you. Preferably behind your back.

Overnight Hospital Stays:
Once. With Molly. For almost three weeks. Hell. Pure. Agonizing. Hell. But all the attention was orgasmic!

Well, spiders, obviously. And I’m a hypochondriac, so basically my phobia is that I’ll acquire any and all illnesses and die, likely in a very gruesome and dramatic way.

Ok, this quote has absolutely no bearing on my life, but I think it’s just beautiful and considering that I’ve bitched my ENTIRE LIFE about living in Crannie, but here I am moving back there, I think it is quite appropriate. It can be found on a sign beside the highway as you pull into Radium: “The Mountains Shall Bring Peace to the People.” Awwww. Always makes me long for home.

Christian. Kind of. I’m like a half a cup of Christian, and another half cynic.

One neglectful older brother, one self-righteous equally neglectful second older brother, and one recently acquired sister-in-law.

Time(s) I Wake Up:
6:30 – 7:00am (shudder, shudder). 9:00am if I’m lucky on the weekends.

Unusual Talent/Skill:
None. Whatsoever. Nothing. I’m talentless. Unless you count driving standard whilst drinking a Diet Coke, chatting on the cell phone and trying to put a different Celine Dion CD into my car stereo a talent. If so, I’m fucking gifted.

Vegetable I Refuse To Eat:
I’ll eat any vegetable. Although for reals? I really, really, REALLY don’t like baked potatoes. Why does everyone make such a big deal about them?

Worst Habit(s):
Picking any bump on any piece of any exposed skin on my body.

Dental, ultrasounds, foot/ankle. WTF is this question anyway?

Yummiest Food I Make:
Hello? Have you tasted my banana cake? It’s pure goodness. I also make tasty chocolate cake. And fantastic chili. And that, my friends, is pretty much it. But I’m cute, so it all works out.

Zodiac Sign:
Libra. Did you know that my sign is the only one in the Zodiac that isn’t an animal? Which means I’m special. And hot.


  • At 12:23 PM, Blogger Charkins said…

    I hate you.

    You know why.

    But I'll tell you just in case you don't.

    You called Sharon a sibling.

    I hate you.


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