Confessions of the Divine Miss K

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

I'm Pissed. You've Been Warned.

A blogger named Dooce who I enjoy reading immensely once infamously got fired for writing about her job online. She vented her frustration over her place of employment (as well as saying many less than flattering things about her boss) on her blog, and when those in power discovered it, she was promptly terminated. I don’t want to make the same mistake, but OH GOD I DON'T CARE ANYMORE AND I'M THROWING CAUTION TO THE WIND BECAUSE I JUST CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE I HATE THIS JOB SO MUCH AND IF I GET FIRED, WHO THE FUCK CARES!

I write this blog from work. Because I can. Because I have nothing to do. NOTHING. TO. DO. And not like normal jobs where one has nothing to do, wherein you have actual tasks to perform, they’re just boring or easy or fast to get accomplished. No, I actually have zero, nothing, nada, zilch to do. And as a result I am dying a little bit inside each and every day. I hate this place. But, hell, it’s paying my rent and providing me with the gas money to go see Adders every weekend back in Crannie.

That is, it WAS paying my bills. As of this Friday, it will have been one month since I was last paid. That means I am two weeks overdue for a paycheck. And God, do I need the money. But the brutal part isn’t the lack of funds (that’s why God invented Visa! And boyfriends!). Instead, it’s the absolute dismissive and indifferent attitude of my bosses. They have done nothing to provide me with money, except put the blame on the payroll people. The payroll people don’t return my calls. And I silently scream inside over and over and FUCKING OVER AGAIN.

It’s gotten so bad that this morning when I asked my boss’ wife (who is also technically a boss) about not being paid, she just said, “I don’t know anything about it. It’s not my problem.” When I then said that I have no money left and I have rent coming up and bills to pay, she actually had the nerve to say, “Well, what did you do with your last paycheck? Why have you spent that money already?” And I said to her, “It’s been a month. I was expecting to be paid two weeks ago.” And she had the gall to reply, “Well, you should have saved more and planned ahead.” Excuse me? I just stared at her as I saw blinding red and smoke poured out of my nostrils. Finally I replied, “You have no right to tell me how to spend my money. I was supposed to be paid 2 weeks ago.”

FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK. I am so angry that I might spontaneously combust. And the thing is, it’s one thing to put up with these assholes when I’m getting paid for it. It’s quite another when I’m sitting here doing NOTHING for no goddamn reason and not getting a penny for it. Do you know how much work it is to entertain yourself in front of a goddamn computer for 8 hours? Especially when porn isn’t an option and you’re not a game person (c’mon, solitaire is entertaining for like, 2 minutes)? It’s grueling, terrible, mind-numbing work, the type of labour that one should be well compensated. And I am not even kidding about this.

Sigh. This is a rant, I know. I am just so frustrated and if I don’t let myself vent, I might burst a blood vessel or kill someone. But can I just say that having to endure the most annoying couple in the world shrieking Hebrew at one another over the phone is the type of torture that should be reserved only for the most evil, despicable criminals in the world? And even then, that may be too cruel. Oh, God. I earn every fucking penny I make. Every single goddamn dime.


Grrrr. Ok, so she got off the phone and I said to her, “Listen, I need to be paid.” And she’s like fine, and hands me a cheque that (a) is not for the full amount I should be paid, and (b) is even less, if one considers that I should have been paid for 2 stat holidays. So I’m like, “What’s this?” And she says, “We deducted for those two days you took off.” And I replied, “Well, I’ll need to see this in writing. You can’t just skim money off my paycheck. And furthermore, what days?” And she replied that I missed Easter Monday (which, true – but they had previously agreed to allow me to take the day off or I would never have fucking took it to begin with) and they are now taking off money for the Friday I missed for my brother’s wedding. WHAT THE FUCK? And I remember when that had originally happened, they had all been, “We’re so nice, we won’t deduct anything for that day.” And lastly, they deducted money for calling in sick last Tuesday.

The thing is, it’s one thing to deduct money because I missed work. But what bothers me is that they just decide to take whatever they feel like off, and there’s no paperwork to back it up. I am ready to spit nails. So when I confronted her with this, and said just that, she was all, “One second you’re telling me not to tell you how to spend your money, and the next you’re telling me how much I have to pay you?” And I was all, “It’s not the same thing! And you can’t just deduct whatever you feel like off my paycheck. Before I even started at this job, I told you I wouldn’t be able to work that Friday of my brother’s wedding. You agreed. You can’t NOW deduct money over it.” And she just was all, “No, yes we can. Nope, nope!” So I said, “Fuck this. I am calling Human Resources Alberta tonight. I am calling employer’s rights. This is ridiculous. And you people aren’t even paying taxes. It’s obscene.”

And that is how it stands. I am so pissed off and disgusted. And if they fire my ass it will be a blessing, especially since if I get fired they’ll have to provide me with some sort of compensation. I hate these people. I hate this job. I hate my life.


But I’m still bored. And I still have nothing to do. So now I’m going to talk about my weekend, which was good. It involved doing 10 trillion loads of laundry. And eating disgusting amounts of cheese. And enjoying a frappuccino! From Starbucks! In Crannie! Yea! Adders and I also took to the outdoors for a nice little stroll at Fisherville, which as you can see from the picture below, was the first settlement in the entire East Kootenay.

What else? Well, the weekend was deliciously low key which was nice after a previous week of drama and emergency room visits.

Weekend Highlight:
sitting in McDonald’s with Adders, eating French fry after French fry after French fry while enjoying my McDonald’s Fountain Diet Coke (better than crack, baby, better than crack).

Weekend Lowlight: watching the Calgary vs. Anaheim game on Sunday night. Pitiful.

Cutest thing Adders did: Stare lovingly and oh so proudly at his new organized closet, overwhelmed by the fantastic job his girlfriend did on it.

Most annoying thing(s) Adders did: go to work on Saturday morning! And not have enough change for the slurpee I desperately needed (What?! Don’t look at me! I NEVER have cash on me, you know that!). And not let me cheat at crib (well, he finally did but only when he was practically going to skunk me).

Most scary thing about weekend: at risk of catching Mono from AJ which meant no making out with the lil’ Magro.

Most heart warming thing about the weekend:
having an hour long cup of coffee with Adders’ parents while he was at work, and just chatting and feeling like a member of the family. Awwww.

Moment I wish I could stop in time: all the cuddles in bed.

Best quote of the weekend by Adders: "I wish I was a miner. Then I'd have huge muscles" after which he promptly gave me a flex.

Most overdressed moment of the weekend: right here. Under that limegreen sweatshirt (courtesy of Charkins, of course), is about 10 more layers. And it was plus 18 outside. Plus 25 in the sun (well, practically).

Anyhow, I'm looking forward to this weekend, Blaby!


What else do I have to say? Well, as you can tell, I am soooo not in a funny mood. More like an “I’ll rip your head off and watch you die if you dare say another word” kind of mood. Plus, I’m hungry. And that’s never a good state for me to be in.

So maybe I’ll just wind this up, because, really? It’s not healthy for me to rage anymore. And this is getting boring for the rest of you.

That being said, I am excited to watch American Idol tonight (after weeks of Tamara Lee trying to get me interested, I have finally succumbed and am an ardent viewer. And am so so ashamed).

Okay, kids, ‘till next time. Think happy thoughts for me. And say happy prayers for me too!

P.S. Is it just me, or do Adders and I kinda look like each other in this picture? Seriously, we got a similar expression going, no? I think so, but when I told this to Adders, he just stared at me like I was high. Which I might have been. It's hard to tell these days.


  • At 1:57 PM, Blogger Charkins said…

    I say call Human Resources and fry the suckers! I also say you need to come visit me so you can put pics of me up on this site. Hello Adders? Move over, I want to see my mug on the net. And CK, I wove you.

  • At 11:17 AM, Blogger adders69 said…

    Fuck... now you now why the Germans were such assholes about the hole burning jews alive and what not. I'll bet you have a new view on the holicaust eh Courty??? Anyhow I don't mind if you post some pics of charissa, I'm getting tires of looking at my ugly mug anyways. I think you and me both need to stay in the sun for a while though Courty, we look like matching caspers.

  • At 12:34 PM, Anonymous Tamara Lee said…

    Oh Miss Courty-loo, will it ever end??? You're just adding chapter after chapter to your biography this year. Well since you already know you have my full support as an accomplice in any subterfuge you may be designing for your bosses I won't get in to it and post anything incriminating. Instead I found another website for your entertainment. This one lets you wax David Hasselhoff's chest hair: Enjoy!


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