Confessions of the Divine Miss K

Friday, March 17, 2006

I Want This, I Want That


Everyone wants things. We all do, and that's because we're all greedy, selfish, self-absorbed human beings. But no one is a greedier, more selfish, self-absorbed human being than me. Because I want things on a major level. And I don't just want material things, I want transcendental and emotional things as well. I want just about everything that I can't have at this point in my life.

And since I'm bored here at "We can't think of any work to give you, so here, rewrite this 5,000 page dictionary", I thought I'd create another list, this one of things I want. We'll number it, but I'm not going to try and reach any specific number. I'm just going to keep listing to whatever number God strikes me dead at for being so greedy, selfish and self-absorbed:

1. I want ya'll to comment on my blog, goddammit. Charkins is excused from this because she DOES comment, unlike two other people, namely Miss "I sort of only skimmed it because it was so long" and Mr "It was sweet but I'm too busy working on my dirt bike that NEVER EVER works." GRRRRRRRRR. Don't make me start bad-mouthing you two, because don't forget - I have my own website. Mwaaaa haaaa haaaaa!!!!

2. I want my own kitchen. Actually, I want my own house. No, seriously, I want my OWN place. And Tamara Lee this is nothing against you because being roommates with you is wonderful. But frig, I'm 24 and I don't own a gosh darn thing of my own (except for my bookcase from Walmart and my KitchenAid mixer). And I want to. I want to decorate! I want to buy dishes! I want to know where everything is in my kitchen because I put it there! I want to nest and then I want to nest some more.

3. I want to have the skin I'm supposed to have at 24 instead of the skin that I had at 13 and then again at 14, and then at 15 and now all the way into my mid-20s and I just can't take it anymore! Damn you, complexion! Would you just start cooperating already?

4. I want someone to give me an unlimited credit card that never requires to be paid off and then set me loose in Sephora. Because I don't just want a few things from there. Oh, no. I want the ENTIRE store, including the Too-Faced Purrrfect Glitter Dust and Urban Decay Heavy Metal Glitter Liner and Benefit Galactic Shield.

5. I want to know what the fuck I'm doing with my life. Anyone? Anyone have an answer? I'm so sick of having so many unanswered questions. And I'm so sick of just being here because "here" is in purgatory where I don't seem to be moving in any sort of direction. I hate being stagnant. Being stagnant makes me bored. Boredom makes me depressed. My depression makes Adders want to poke out his eyeballs.

6. I want to go somewhere hot for a vacation. And bring my boyfriend. And tell my parents to suck on it. Do you hear that, Adders? Let's go to Vegas, baby!

7. I want to get drunk tonight without having to either pay for it (monetary, calories, or otherwise) or experience a hangover tomorrow.

8. I want my mom to say she's sorry and that she didn't mean any of it.

9. I want my heart to forgive her.

10. Even more so, I want Adders' heart to do so as well.

11. I want to spend a Saturday morning with Charkins wherein we sit around in our pajamas and watch old movies with Vivien Leigh in them and I whine until she gives me a foot rub. And then we read the channel with all the headlines because I'm tired of channel surfing. And we eat bacon because life just ain't life without some bacon. Mmmmmmm bacon.

12. I want to sleep with my boyfriend (and no, I don't mean in a sexual way, my God, get your head out of the gutter, this isn't that kind of website and while it might have been so last post, I'm changing because I've received too many comments that all I do is write about "sex, sex, sex" so no more talk about Adders and my amazing sex life, which is so amazing you should all be deathly jealous, because obviously it was just wasted on you people so there. HUMPH!) for as many nights as it takes until I'm at the point where I'm thinking "Lord, if I have to share a bed with this nut case one more time, I will go ape on him because MY GOD! A person can only handle so many looks at the clock in one flippin' night."

13. Can someone please buy me a Nissan Murano? Please? In black. Or possibly white. But preferably black. And I'd like rims. So would my boyfriend. That would make us happy. And as everyone knows, a happy Courts is a happy Adders is a happy world!

14. I wish my brother and sister-in-law would acknowledge that I FUCKING EXIST and maybe, oh I don't know, invite me over? Because you know, and this is shocking, I do like eating dinner! And no, I haven't seen their place yet! And wow, isn't it nice to know that when you first move to a new city where you don't know anyone except your sibling, you can always count on him to take you out and show you a good time? Wouldn't that be fucking splendiferous?

15. I would really, really, really like to spend the summer with Adders in Crannie this summer. Somehow I just don't think Calgary summers can compare.

16. I want a new purse. Yep, a brand spankin' new one. It's been almost 3 months and it's time for a new one.

17. I want that baby that Adders and I saw at the hockey game last weekend who he wouldn't let me kidnap. She was that cute, I swear my ovaries were about to march over and put her in my pocket.

18. I wish someone would invent Star Trek travelling wherein you stand in a tanning booth and you're transported to wherever you want to go. That way I could instantly appear in Crannie this Saturday and force Adders to hang out with me instead of going to the stag party for the dude he's the best man for. Did I mention that I'm greedy, selfish and self-absorbed? Yeah, I'm that way with people too. I want their undivided attention. All the time. Constantly. For right now, and now, and now.

19. I like the people I'm working for, I really do. And maybe this job will turn out to provide some cool opportunities. And I am getting excited to go to L.A. for my "business" trip next week. But good grief am I tired of being bored in all my jobs. I want a job that motivates and inspires and challenges me, maybe not all the time, but a good portion of the time at least.

20. I want to know God and the will He has for my life. But I don't want to do all the work that that requires. Besides, He seems like a very frightening, very demanding, very egotistical, very icky Korean man to me now, and that just may be the most saddening and depressing thing in the world. Also, the biggest turn-off. Ever.

21. I want to belly laugh really hard right this instant. I want to laugh like all those times I laughed when I was 10 where it would start with just a laugh but would soon lead to some drooling which would then lead to peeing my pants which would then culminate in my absolutely dying of hyena laughter as I sat in a puddle of my own urine.

22. I want a huge, mammoth, all my friends want to hit me they're so jealous, sized engagement ring. I want J.Lo's - you know, the Bennifer one.

23. I want someone to call me from somewhere on Saturday night when he is out with his friends without me having to explicitly say, "I hope you call me on Saturday night when you're up in Invermere with all your friends."

24. I want more cute clothes that I can wear to work.

25. I want my hair to stop making me look like Side Show Bob.

26. I want The O.C. to stop being so lame. Otherwise, I want Friends to be brought back on the air.

27. I want a kiss and an I love you.

28. And I want one from every single person that I love.

29. I want March to be over. Because March just may be the gloomiest, longest, ickiest, have I mentioned longest month EVER.

30. I want to have one of those days with each of you where we get to step out of time. Charkins, you know what I'm talking about. Because those days are nothing short of perfection. And we could all use a little perfection right now.

31. Oh, and I want world peace.

Look at me go! And I'm still breathing. I guess that little Korean man up in the clouds doesn't hate me as much as I thought, afterall.

Oops, and I forgot my last one:

32. I want a cuddle. I want to bury my face in Adders' neck and smell that intoxicating scent of vanilla and Adamnessness and have him stroke my hair and say, "Bla-by" in that special little way of his where he draws out the two syllables and makes my heart melt all at once.

4 Comments:

  • At 6:12 PM, Blogger adders69 said…

    Kiss, kiss, I love you baby... I want all though things too, Yet somehow I'm crying inside of the thought that you reallt want all of those things. The mother thing, croos that off and oh yes all the girls should be jealous of this stalin. Love ya sweet pea.

     
  • At 11:14 AM, Blogger Charkins said…

    XXOO I love you. I love you even though you are selfish and selfish and selfish. I love you even when you get a new purse and I don't:) I love you even though we haven't had a step out of time in years and even though it seems like the past few years have been like one big month of march. Because that's love, and I love you forever and and ten thousand years. Oh and I love "Stalin" too. He's a good guy with a bad rap. Oh Those Russians.(even though he never replys to heart felt emails!)

     
  • At 10:51 AM, Anonymous Tamara Lee said…

    XXXXX. I love you too. And you can rearrange our kitchen if it would make you feel a little better. I don't know where anything is anyways so at least one of us would :).

     
  • At 11:51 AM, Blogger Charkins said…

    I want misscourty to post a new blog reading EVERY DAY so I have something good to read. As well since I am the BFF of said Miss K I am going to request some topics
    1. I want you to talk about make up. You know how Amalah does "wednesday Advice Smackdown"? I want you to so something like that.
    2. I want you to tell stories from Eurpoe and Montreal since you and I have some good ones as do you and Tamara lee (Kwok-lings anyone?)
    3. I want you to come visit!

     

Post a Comment

<< Home